How to find out what others think of you?

By Aditi | July 10, 2008 12:13 pm |
Categories:
Self-actualization

mind-reading What do others think of me? What and how they figure me to be? These are a few questions with which we care a lot to bother ourselves. Invariably, all of us keep on stressing our grey cells to find out the answers. But to the utter surprise of ourselves only, we cannot correctly make out what others think of us. Why is it so?

Recent researches on this aspect have revealed that the answer lies in the fact that we tend to ignore the perspective of others when we try to mark out how others figure us out. We think that others are paying much attention to us as we are to ourselves. This is called Attention Bias. But actually it is not. While judging ourselves, we tend to go more into the details regarding how we speak, body language, attitude, behavior etc. and believe that others are also noticing us with the same perspective.

But on the contrary they really do not. Also when the situations are ambiguous and our actions are arguable, then we tend to mould everything in to the cast of our own beliefs, intentions and attitude, and thereby miss out the vital points of how others make us out. This condition is called Construal Bias. Actually, we see ourselves from the street level i.e. with too many details and minute observation of our actions and behaviors.

On the contrary, others figure out from the satellite level, i.e. on a more holistic sense. Also people are faster to figure you out then you can imagine. People do not take too much time while making out at you, and they also judge you in a much wider sense than you anticipate. So if you want to find out what others think of you, see yourselves from the sky level.

Perfect Soulmate

By Aditi | May 27, 2008 2:44 pm |
Categories:
Relationships

soulmate
I was listening to the song Soulmate by Natasha Bedinfield. Its lyrics are:

Incompatible, it don’t matter though
‘cos someone’s bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You’re not easy to find

Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you’re in disguise

Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There’s enough for everyone
But I’m still waiting in line

Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They’re all good but not the permanent one
Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told

Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone
Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone
If there’s a soulmate for everyone

The words in the song themselves are amazing. It dined on me to share my views on a perfect Soulmate with you. Just before writing on this, I called up my friend, to ask him what he thought about Soulmate. He said, “It’s the one who loves you more than himself/herself and makes you love him/her by the power of LOVE”.

I would reiterate the words from the song “Who knows how to love you without being told”. This is indeed very difficult in real life. I would say its by luck and God’s blessings that one can really find a Perfect Soulmate.

The question is How to find a perfect Soulmate? As we know what we would like to eat when we feel hungry, we should also know what kind of a person we need in our life. This is the key to find a perfect match.



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