How to find out what others think of you?

By Aditi | July 10, 2008 12:13 pm |
Categories:
Self-actualization


mind-reading What do others think of me? What and how they figure me to be? These are a few questions with which we care a lot to bother ourselves. Invariably, all of us keep on stressing our grey cells to find out the answers. But to the utter surprise of ourselves only, we cannot correctly make out what others think of us. Why is it so?

Recent researches on this aspect have revealed that the answer lies in the fact that we tend to ignore the perspective of others when we try to mark out how others figure us out. We think that others are paying much attention to us as we are to ourselves. This is called Attention Bias. But actually it is not. While judging ourselves, we tend to go more into the details regarding how we speak, body language, attitude, behavior etc. and believe that others are also noticing us with the same perspective.

But on the contrary they really do not. Also when the situations are ambiguous and our actions are arguable, then we tend to mould everything in to the cast of our own beliefs, intentions and attitude, and thereby miss out the vital points of how others make us out. This condition is called Construal Bias. Actually, we see ourselves from the street level i.e. with too many details and minute observation of our actions and behaviors.

On the contrary, others figure out from the satellite level, i.e. on a more holistic sense. Also people are faster to figure you out then you can imagine. People do not take too much time while making out at you, and they also judge you in a much wider sense than you anticipate. So if you want to find out what others think of you, see yourselves from the sky level.

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